Problems in playgroup

Does your child play with another child who bullies,or isn’t able to share? It can be exceptionally difficult to deal with that child’s behavior, when his own mom is aware, but doesn’t take the initiative to redirect or correct her own child’s behavior. Sometimes parents don’t know how to correct a behavior, or they feel completly embarassed, and do nothing, because they don’t want to confront or escillate the situation.Public temper tantrums are difficult for any parent to deal with. It takes practice (and a lot of courage) to address a misbehavior head on. So, what do you do to change his behavior, without embarassing his mother? Read my syndicated column “Mother’s must address child’s behavior”.

Teaching your child how to apologize

Does your child apologize for the mistakes he makes? What does his apology look like? Is is a mouthy “soooooorrrrry”, with a little eye rolling? Or, is it the apology you were looking for; a sincere “Mom, I’m sorry for running through the house, and breaking your flower vase”. If your child has not learned to apologize with sincerity, learn (from the apology) enough to change his behavior, read “Teach your child to apologize”. Children want to behave. They want to be well liked. They want our attention. It is important to teach a child to apologize with sincerity, because it will affect his relationships, for the rest of his life.

Teaching Children to Give

Children are born to be self centered, as a form of survival. They learn that if they cry, they get their needs met, such as having a diaper changed, or being fed. By the time they are toddlers, they have more of an awareness of the world, but still, everything revolves around them, as they are building their self confidence and the scaffolding of who they will become. Although sharing is developmentally difficult for little ones, giving can be modeled and taught every day, as they learn to give some help, give away old toys, or give a neighbor a hand made card with some cut garden flowers. Children love to give, because giving feels good. Provide your little one the opportunity to give, every day! Read my syndicated article, Teach children the gift of giving.

How to communicate so your child will listen

Do you  repeat yourself, time and again? Do you hear yourself saying,”This is the 5th time I’ve told you to….”  Here it comes; one of my favorite expressions. Nothing changes, if nothing changes! Change the way you present your information to your child, and chances are he will listen, and respond quickly.You can eliminate temper tantrums and improve overall family dynamics, simply by providing clear communication. When your child needs to do something, eliminate requesting language, and replace it with a directive. Requesting language includes words such as lets, please and OK? To change requests into directives, eliminate sentences as “start your homework, OK?, or, let’s get ready to take a bath, OK?” and replace with “It’s time to…”. Use sentences such as; It’s time to do your homework, it’s time to take a bath, it’s time to turn out your light, or it’s time to get your coat on. Add a physical, connective touch on your child’s shoulder, so your child can feel your message, feeling the importance of the message. Always be sure to recognize and remark upon how well he listened, or how quickly he got his coat on. Your recognition of those compliant behaviors will increase the frequency of them happening again. Another roadblock for understanding is simply too much information. Little learners need simple directives, and small bites of information. Sandwich your language into no more than three sentences. Let your child “digest” the information, and then provide more, if more is needed. When you are finished providing information, ask if he understands, and what he heard you say. When he gets it right, touch him and exclaim, “Yes! I did say for you to pick up your blocks! You got it right!” The effort you make by providing clear information, coupled with a connective touch, reinforced with praise, and provided with consistency, will pay off with  a child who hears, and listens! For more information, read my full article “What are you really saying to your children”?